Ways to become Ghetto!

So I was thinking to myself the other day.  If I wanna become really cool and get the ladies the best thing for myself to do would be to become ghetto.


Firstly you're probably thinking to yourself he's white, and looks like a pansy. 

Well F*CK you! I'm ghetto, and I just took your wallet and your woman!

As you can see this is already going very well for me.  So to share this amazing way of life I put together this short list of things that, you too can do to become as badass as myself. 

1. If anyone looks you in the eyes you call them out on it, verbally and physically.
2. Own the movie "Menace 2 Society" and/or "Friday"
3. Incorporate hoodies into every look for you
4. Never go swimming (hanging out by a pool is ok, but only at night)
5. Your biggest hero is The Rock.  The Crack Rock that is.

Listen, now that you're truly ghetto you'll never get skipped over in line at the Olive Garden especially if you can clearly see that you're next on list.  Their motto is: "When you're here you're family." My motto is "When I'm here, I'm packing heat"