Final Destination 5

Final Destination 5, a photo by mitchel_baldwin on Flickr.

The Final Destination Series Gets a Country Soundtrack!!

Will Ferrell joins the cast of The Office

If you’re anything like me, your DVR is already set to record The Office (Thursday, 9-9:30 p.m. PST) on NBC.  Will Ferrell is set to join the cast, for what looks like some of the best comedy on television.  Earlier this year, our hearts dropped as we heard that Steve Carrell was leaving the hit series before the season end.  Carrell, was nominated for an Emmy for the series and earned a Golden Globe for his work portraying the lovable character Michael Scott.

This seems to be a planned move by producers. Paul Lieberstein told sources that this would ensure that the finale of the season was not centered on Carrell’s character Michael, leaving the show. Moving in this direction leaves the option to keep the hit show running with a potential new boss running Dunder-Mifflin.  

Will Ferrell will be playing the role of manager, Deangelo Vickers. The episode titled ‘Training Day’ is outlined as Michael training him as a manager while the other characters ---except for an apathetic Dwight---scramble to impress him.  Ferrell has already recieved rave reviews from the staff for his work, although it is unclear whether he will stay.  The New York Times has commented, saying that Ferrell will begin shooting another film in the fall.  

Either way, I’m excited about what will unfold in the following four episodes, leading to the extended season finale scheduled May 19, with possible guest stars Ricky Gervais and Will Arnett.

According to Castingabout.com the show is still currently casting.  You can mail your stuff to Allison Jones at 601 N. Larchmont Blvd. Los Angeles, CA  90004

Onboard Services

Ice Cream for Breakfast has been doing incredibly well these past few weeks!!
Being the sellout I am, we've gotten our first sponsor for the BLOG!!


We'd like to thank "Onboard Services" for sponsoring us paying me in peanut butter cups. 
Not sure what to do if you're drunk and in an accident????? Check this out!!!!!








Also coming this week a wrapup of the Naughty Show which will be performing live 
Nov 11th at 10pm at the Hollywood Improv.  
more info on that can be found here: The Naughty Show
Also be sure to follow my twitter @IbizaMitch

Rating E-Dating!

Welcome back to the party everyone! 

Here at Ice Cream for Breakfast we understand that each of us is looking for that special someone. Someone to laugh with, send naked pictures to on your phone, and get the occasional HJ in the back of Wal-Mart. That is why I am here to help. 

I myself was tired of picking up the same girls at the Taco Truck 4 nights a week.  So I decided to move to the one place in the world I could find members of the opposite sex more desperate than myself.  THE INTERNET 

It was here I found an entire new world of people looking for the same thing I was.... BUT.. the internet can be a scary place and if you don't know what you're looking for, you can end up in the middle of a bukkake circle faster than you can say "Slime Time!"  This is why I've crafted this handy guide to internet dating to make things easier for each of you to figure out how to meet that hottie or disfigured person you've been searching for.   

According to their website eHarmony.com accounts for 5% of all marriages in the United States. What they failed to present was how many of those marriages are actually happy and what percent of those marriages end up on Maury.  My favorite part of this site is the personality test that they make everyone take upon signing up for this gamble.  If you do not pass the personality test then they send you to other dating websites. Really eHarmony?? "What's not to love about a 36 year old that has a blood fetish and lives in an abandoned frat house?" 



What you'll get:

A Jewish Girl

Hope you're looking to spend more money after signing up for this site, you know she is.  Sure she looks nice and cute, but behind those beady little eyes lies a girl ready to take every last dime you have.  
"Sign that Prenup"

 Hey man, can you pass that girl over here?? 420dating.com is the only dating site linking dope fiends together on a daily basis.  Sound's like a dream right out of a Cheech and Chong Movie right? Possibly, but think about taking this girl on that dream date.  How much are you gonna spend on a girl that's got the munchies? (don't hurt yourself trying to calculate this!) Yeah, so after you're 5th course or so, you may want to make sure you sell some of that pot you once had to pay for that check.




What you'll get:

A Stoner Girl

  
Probably not the hottest looking girls you can meet, but at least they have have a personality or an eighth on them.  The only problem is her remembering she has a date and actually showing up.
 "Now where did I put my car keys?" 

 They have been playing commercials for this site like crazy, the new rage in America is the Cougar.  Thanks Ashton Kutcher for starting this trend and possibly owning this website.  Remember how much fun hanging out at grandma's house was when you were a kid? Now you can do that all the time and actually hook up on that couch that's covered in plastic.  If you're lucky you may end up in the inheritance, and learn all the stuff you missed in history class while you were sleeping. 

What you'll get:

 An older girl woman

With years of experience, there's got to be something right about an older woman.  STD's weren't invented until the early 80's, so you're safe there.  Just remember you may be hooking up on her death bed. 
"Can wrinkle cream also be used as lube?"

What the fuck are you doing looking for love on Craigslist?? Craigslist is typically utilized to find jobs, cars, antiques, etc.  Oh well, I guess love can be found almost anywhere. (except a hole in a restroom stall) They do have a small personals section though. which includes.. rants and raves, misc romance, and casual encounters.  This is a free service where people are as honest and open as they want to be.  


What you'll get:

Asian Prositute

Finally, what I was really looking for the entire time scrolling through these dating sites.  She may not speak a word of English but she knows when to leave in the morning.  Just the type of love my Dad told me about when I was a kid.  

"Found the apartment and girl of my dreams, all on one website" 

Were there any sites I missed?? Let me know, leave your comments below and feel free to follow me on Twitter: @IbizaMitch

Why are the dead talking to me!?

Its Halloween everyone, which means all the Tranys here in Hollywood are confused and think that the world is on their side.  Its the one time you can dress like Lady Gaga and party like Charlie Sheen. (aka Lindsay Lohan)  Yep, its an amazing time of year for all! Except me! 

Now with all these crazy tranys, furries, and slutty girls costumes how could I not enjoy this time of year??

Since I was 20 I've had an odd gift, ability, disability, etc. (I think you get the point) 

My gift was the ability to see what Dead Celebrities would actually Twitter.  I know this sounds crazy, but when you grow up next to an Asian sweatshop these things just tend to happen. I just can't keep this stuff to myself anymore so I thought I'd share with you my favorite dead celebrity twitters.

PATRICK SWAYZE

"Brett Favre just gave a whole new definition to the term Dirty Dancing" 

COREY HAIM

"Ahhh... my iPhone reception sucks more than the ratings for The Two Coreys"

GARY COLEMAN

"For the last time, I am not going to go as a turd for Halloween" 

MICHAEL JACKSON

"Dressing like an angel this year so I can touch everyone's kids hearts"

GLENN BECK

"My rally was still bigger than Jon Stewart's rally, just ask my husband"

Alrighty, you caught me on the last one. Glenn Beck is dead, but only on the inside.  Have a great Halloween everyone, just don't trust the white rabbit.

5 Places I should be able to drink a beer (or 7)

This weekend was a complete eye opener for me.  Not only did I get a gold medal in flip cup. (which they do make by the way) My mind was opened to the idea that I should be able to display my Olympic-style skills everywhere.  This is a problem for most places because of these crazy alcohol laws. These keep me from drinking in a lot of places that I feel that my humanly rights should grant me.  Well, if I was a politician I would push America towards its well earned progressive state and make these following places completely legal to get plastered.


The Grocery Store

Probably the most obvious one on the list.  Lots of businesses (esp Vegas Casinos) know that you are far more likely to buy things when you're sloshed than being sober.  Those guys make millions and millions of dollars every year because of you're stupid drunk decisions.  Its evident to me that if I was staggering around a grocery store with a beer ***That I bought there*** I would be buying almost everything in sight.  
"Captain Morgan and Captain Crunch are ready for mutiny!"   

Positives:

-Doing your shopping without knowing it
-Meeting girls at the Grocery Store would be a different ballgame
-Riding around in shopping carts would be fun again

Negatives: 
-Buying lots of unnecessary items
-Vomit in the aisles
-Sleeping in a shopping cart is not comfortable

The Gym

I get a lot of criticism for this one, but you really need to look at the facts here.  How many times has a Friday Night come up and if you're not interested in going to the bar you aren't sure where to go??? (For me lots, probably because I've been kicked out of that bar.)  So why not go to the gym? Here you can do fun drunk activities with your friends, check out girls working out and throw that muscular guy who smells like taint into the pool.  Imagine the drinking games, you could play here while losing the calories that you just drank.  
"Who needs Spin Class when you always feel like you're spinning?"


Positives:
-Telling people you're at the gym 5 days a week
-Personal Training would involve shots of Tequila
-Dressing up to go out is now shorts and a new t-shirt.


Negatives:
-Accidentally signed up for a yoga class
-Pissing off a lot of people bigger than you
-Dehydration and possibly death


Church

I'm all about trying to find God (or whichever religion you're into) but do you really need to do this sober.  Most of the time I end up finding the people I wanna see most completely tanked ***Sorry about the drunk dials mom*** Last time I was at church they pulled a 180 on me by giving me a sip of wine and some cracker.  When I asked for a glass and some more crackers, I was given dirty looks and hit on the ass with a ruler (which I liked).  Isn't Sunday supposed to be a day of rest anyways? Let's give a toast to our gods and watch some football afterwards! 
"I bet Jesus would have some really cool bar tricks up his sleeve" 

Positives:
-Going to church just became mandatory for the family
-God is now your hommie
-Singing songs becomes instantly more fun


Negatives
-Urinating in the Holy Water
-Sleeping in church just became much easier
-If you're too belligerent, people think you've been possessed by the devil


The DMV

I truly think that this is possibly the worst place in the history of the world. I meet the worst smelling people stand in the longest lines and there is not a single reason they can't play play some sort of music in this place.  The only possible way I can think of to make this place better would be to allow me the simple pleasure of getting sloshed enough to forget that I was ever here.  
"DMV - Does Make (Me) Vomit"

Positives:
-Speech is slurred enough to get a Handicapped Tag
-Crazy persons' advice makes sense
-Your license picture is Awesome!

Negatives:
-Failed Driving Test 8 Times 
-Does Not mask the smell
-Still standing in the wrong line

Hometown Buffet 

Flipping from the worst, we now move on to the best.  Seriously, what is better than a Hometown Buffet.  Miles of all the food you can eat and anything you can think of on the menu.  Anything, except my buddy Samuel Adams. Why is he not invited to this party?? Can you think of anything more amazing than an all you can eat, all you can drink extravaganza?? Is this what heaven is? Because heaven is about 8 and a half minutes from my house.
"MMMMMmmmm, Just like my mom never made!"


Positives:
-Never needing anything again
-Vomiting is welcome
-Best date restaurant EVER!

Negatives:
-Never able to leave
-Diabetes 
-The cutest girl you meet weighs in at 235

Oh well, maybe someday right? Can't we all have a dream? Martin Luther King did!  
Did I miss anything??? Let me know below. Or feel free to follow me on Twitter @IbizaMitch 

VIPing At The Scream Awards!

Was most recently invited by Amanda (whose last name won't be revealed) to the Scream Awards this year at the Greek Theater! 

Probably the coolest award show, and the only one I'd really be interested in going to see.  Not because I'm really into scary movies but for the fact that they ask everyone to go in Costume.  And instead of walking around begging for candy it was a drunken mess of everyone falling down and asking where the VIP area was. Very Excellent but one of the most Hollywood things I've ever seen. 

  

This was just the line for cocaine.

 Throwing together a costume quickly can be a pain in the ass.  But a quick trip to the 99cent store and some eye makeup (which I promise isn't mine) made it easy to throw together an Alex from A Clockwork Orange. 

Ladies, please stop drooling on your computer.

The rest of the entourage decided on pretty easy costumes as well.  Simply put, we decided to go about an hour and a half before leaving.

 The one in the middle is Sarah Palin, duh!

Since we knew we'd be in line for a while we'd figured we'd spice things up with this new flavor of Gatorade called Merlot

  The G stands for Gettin' Drunk

After waiting for about an hour in line we were escorted into the theater towards some really crappy seats.  Since I'm a Baldwin and couldn't settle for sitting with the rest of the commoners the Entourage and myself made our way to the VIP section where not only the seats way better but we also found an open bar!

  This drink was called a Blood Banger. 

While at the bar began talking to Jocelyn James, who may sound familiar because she was the porn star that Tiger Woods was hooking up with for a while.  To be honest I felt like Tiger could have done a little better, but could definitely understand how he ended up in that hazard. Also, briefly spoke to one of the stars of Piranha 3D and explained, that she could finally be taken seriously as an actress. 

Afterward, we made our way to the seats that were rightfully stolen by us. 

BEHIND

IN FRONT

The show got off to a pretty good start and was opened by Halle Berry! Who came out wearing some kind of gold dress. I wasn't exactly sure why she was there until she went onstage with no makeup. 

Horrifying

 They did a huge ode to the movie Inception, to also open the show and Christopher Nolan made an appearance.

 There is no top point

The show took a huge turn in the right direction when they had Marilyn Manson take the stage.  He came out talking about something, but to be honest no one was listening because he had just set a girl on fire. 

I like mine medium rare

It was at this point in the show when the girl next to me, being the drunk Hollywood girl she was decided that she needed to be on camera.  Batgirl "to whom she will be called" did everything in her Bat Crazy Powers to get the attention of the cameramen.  Did this actually work?? Yes, yes it did.

 look ma, I'm batshit crazy!

Sigourney Weaver also made an appearance out of an Alien egg and talked about Avatar with James Cameron.

I wonder who else was in that egg

The biggest and in my opinion "the best" part of the show was the reunion of Christopher Lloyd and Michael J Fox on stage for the 25th Anniversary of Back to the Future! One of my favorite movies of all time! The two looked great and you could still pick up on the chemistry the two have together. 

 I tried to hide in the trunk

All in all it was a great awards show.  It was definitely a celebrity hub and they incorporated a lot of non-horror movies but it was definitely worth going to.  

My advice: Grab a Gatorade Merlot and make the most out of your day, who knows, you may end up in the VIP section with a crazy ass Batgirl!!